I Feel

I feel like _____

I don’t feel I should _____

I’m just not feeling _____

Do these phrases sound familiar to you?

They should.

Most times we wait for feelings, sparks or even emotions to push us into action

I do not think we should.

How about if your mother waited until she FELT like loving for you before she actually did?

Or Nelson Mandela waited until he FELT like making a change before he did?

Better still, what if God waited until HE felt like giving His son for us? … I would hate to imagine that.

Emotions are good, yes indeed.

But are they always good enough to base our decisions on them? Nope.


Choose to be joyful; don’t wait to feel it.

Choose to love; don’t depend on ‘fireworks’.

Choose to be in the Spirit; don’t wait for a divine ‘electric shock’.

Choose not to act on your anger; that you feel like hurting someone doesn’t mean you should.

YOU: So, wait. If I shouldn’t always act as I FEEL, how then should I act?!

ME: Act based on what you KNOW

Know what exactly?

His will….we are to know it

Joy: Rejoice, and again I say rejoice.

Love: And you shall love the Lord with all thy heart, soul and mind….Love your neighbor as you would love yourself.

Anger: Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath i.e act not on your anger; forgive as soon as you can.

Ever wondered where we would all be if Jesus had waited for His FEELINGS to catch up before dying for us?

I have.

You should too.

Zee’s Story

If love makes people do crazy things, then I, certainly, am the craziest. I’m on a donkey with my two sons, riding through a desert, and now I wonder why I ever said yes. Moss (my husband) believes he heard God call him to do some pretty bold things. And yes, I agreed to follow him. This is crazy.

We met when we were quite young, and in a quite dramatic scenario. My six sisters and I had come into town to run some errands and some older boys had tried to rough us up. Moss stepped in and saved us. Though shaken up, we were incredibly grateful. To thank him, we took him home to meet our father, and gradually, he became a part of our family.

He’s a foreigner. You could tell by the colour of his eyes and his dark olive skin. I always watched Moss when I could (without his knowledge, of course), and he always seemed kind of skittish. On the other hand, I had already begun to see him as less of a brother, and more of a man. Not like I ever said anything about it to him, instead, I pushed those feelings deep down to where only I and my subconscious knew.

My father wasn’t fooled; he asked me point-blank if I loved Moss, I did.   Turns out Moss did also (loved me, that is). We got married soon after that. However, during our first night together, Moss told me some things. Scary things. He had killed someone and he had been on the run ever since, because some powerful people were still looking for him. For a new bride, those are not the sweet nothings you want to hear. He was sorry, he said. I loved him still, I forgave him.

One day, Moss comes back from work (he worked for my dad), and says he heard ‘God’ talk to him from a bush set aflame. He has a strange look in his eyes as he talks; I had never seen Moss like this. I ask him if he has been in the sun a long time, he says yes. I wonder to myself, is Moss hallucinating? Who is this God? And why is he calling my Moss? Why him?

Moss explains that we will need to move, WHAT?! How does this happen? I’ve been in Midian all my life; I can’t just pack up and go. Moss persists, we talk it over; after thinking on it (or not thinking at all), I give in. But still, a part of me wants a deeper explanation, what is this really about?

We set out on the journey with our two sons, but still, all I can do is think. I’ve always known that there was a side to Moss that I had never seen. He has always had this longing in his eyes and, occasionally, he falls into silent spells. I had been content not knowing much about it, but now… Was it a woman? Was he home-sick? Was it me? I sigh. So many unanswered questions.

We arrive at our destination. Egypt. Moss introduces me and our sons to his people. I get some intense stares. I think it’s because I’m different – Midianitish, actually. Moss explains to me that Israelites are not supposed to mix with other nations. I suddenly felt guilty; what if Moss divorced me?

Next morning, Moss says he’s going to meet with some powerful Egyptians, God told him to, he says. Wait, What? These are the same people that were on the lookout for him! Is this God out to get my husband killed? Moss says I shouldn’t worry. Of course I do.

I’m preparing lunch before Moss gets back, and I soon get lost in thought. Why Moss? Why us? How come I had never heard of this God before now? Tears come running down and I don’t care to stop them. I’m in a strange land and have no friends, what am I going to do?

I once saw some Hebrew women actually speak to their ‘God’ – ‘praying’, they called it. I wonder if He would answer me, a Midianite. I do it anyway, it wouldn’t hurt to try. I desperately ask Him (their God) to keep my Moss alive.

After saying this, I’m really not sure what comes next. Am I supposed to feel something or hear something?

To be continued… 🙂